piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I want her autograph on my taint
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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