I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize