ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize
