i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
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