Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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