you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize