So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
is wine microwaveable?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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