yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
