There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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