Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
