If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
