Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize