Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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