I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
