he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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