We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
