Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
well most of my day revolves around power hour
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
