he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
