I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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