Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize