I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
not ubering you a puppy
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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