i barfeds in our rink
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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