i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
