how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
