Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
