I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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