Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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