he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
even my farts smell like vagina
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
