so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
