so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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