Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
