onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
