I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
