I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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