I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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