Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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