i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
