he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
