I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
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