Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
