I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
