I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
