Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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