Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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