I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
