there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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