ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
