GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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