I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
