he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
