I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
