How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize