It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
