Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
