Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
