It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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