If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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